Answering the Concerns

 

Hello everyone. In this article, I want to try to answer a few of the common responses that doll owners can receive when people find out you have a doll. For the people that will talk to you about your doll, the always have concerns. I know there are many others, but I wanted to respond to a few to show how these arguments have very little strength.

Most of these concerns are based on two things: love for you and misconception about Dolls. The last two however, are from people that feel threatened.

 

"You know it is not a real person?" 

To me, this is a silly question. Of course, we know that they are not a real person. This question comes from people watching shows like "Lars and the Real Girl." In this movie, the man fully believes that his doll is a real person with some rare disease that prevents her from being able to move. Although the movie is very heartwarming, it does perpetuate the stereotype that people with dolls all think they are real people. The truth is people with dolls do not believe that they are real, but there is a lot of room between an object of plastic and steel and a real, flesh and blood person. Objects can take on special meanings and then have greater personal value than just the object by itself. One of my favorite comebacks to this argument is, "Yes I know she isn't real, but she is real enough." People can find love and comfort in many different things, from blankets to pets, to dolls, just to name a few. 

 

"The doll isn't real, it can't feel or generate emotions." 

This is the main argument I hear when I tell people how the doll offers me comfort and companionship. They say: "But your doll isn't real, it cannot feel anything." And of course, the statement is correct, a doll cannot generate feelings. However, my counter is, "What does it matter where the emotion comes from? Why does it matter if the doll generates the emotion or if I just projected the emotion through her back to myself? I still felt comforted. The doll, however, can offer me something I cannot do myself; they offer physical touch." And before you try to say that applying human characteristics to an inanimate object is abnormal, I will tell you that not only is it normal, but that just about everyone does it daily. They even have a name for it: Anthropomorphize. This applies to both inanimate objects and animals. So, whenever you talk to your pet, you are applying human traits to that animal. We humans are very good at anthropomorphism. So having a life-like doll that you treat like a real person, is not abnormal human behavior. 

 

"You know this isn't normal, right?" 

This one always makes me smile. I answer this with "Yes, I know that society says that it is not normal, but is it wrong?" All societies create a set of undocumented rules of what is acceptable (aka normal) behavior. These rules can and do change and morph over time. The change process is a very slow process. A recent example of this is the marriage of same-sex couples. "Not normal" does not mean it is evil. Of course, all societies have subcultures where these rules can be very different. It just takes time for society as a whole to adopt the new rules, if they do at all. The question of right or wrong, to me, comes down to who is it hurting and, other than going against societal norms, is it a threat to society? 

 

"Why can't you just date a real person/You just need to get laid" 

This statement comes from a person who thinks the only purpose of a doll is sex. This person does not understand that dolls over much more than sex. They also don't understand your reasons for the need for a doll. So many people who get dolls have emotional issues that relate to people and dating. Dolls offer a safe way to work with those issues. I wish it was that simple, but getting laid is not a cure for all your problems. 

 

"I am worried that you won't get out of the house." / "Does this mean you will never date again?" 

This question comes from a person who cares about you and is worried (based on stereotypes of doll owners). However, a doll will not make a person stay home any more than they already do. Many people think (fear) that getting a doll is a sign that you are giving up on society and are going to become a hermit. I also think this stereotype comes from the fact that a lot of doll owners are either shy or introverted. For these people, getting a doll will not change how much they leave the house. However, it will allow them to work on their social issues and anxiety in a way they feel comfortable with. 

 

The last two are more of general statements against doll ownership in general and not pertaining to a single person. 

 

 

"Owning a doll causes men to objectify women" 

This is just not true. A doll is nothing but plastic and metal. It cannot force anyone to do anything. People who place dolls in highly sexualized not creating anything new, but rather are only mimicking what they see women do to themselves. Every day, on my social media, I am inundated with women sending me links to their "Private videos" or their Onlyfans page. The sad truth is that women are the biggest cause of the current rise in the objectification of women. 

 

"Having sex with a doll is the same as rape as the she cannot give consent." 

This is a terrible argument. First, I would ask the person saying this if THEY realize that it is not a real person. A sex doll is nothing more than a sexual aide. The only difference between a doll and say a pocket pussy or a dildo is it has more attached to it. Does a woman get permission from their dildo or vibrator before using it as it is in the shape of a male body part if they did not get permission, that would be rape according to this argument. This is a terrible argument. 

 

As I stated earlier, this is not a complete list. I would like to add, that if, when you think of dolls, you have a response of hatred, then ask yourself why you feel that way. What someone does in the privacy of their own home is their business and not yours. Why do you feel so strongly about it? If the answer is that you truly love the person in question, then spend some time with them and find out why they have the doll and what they get from it (emotionally).  However, if the reason is not love, then you need to look at yourself and ask why a doll threatens you so much.

Much Love,

 

Chris